Sexual Health For Seniors

Many articles are written on various aspects of aging but one big issue is often overlooked.  Call it what you will—the horizontal mambo, extra-curricular activity, getting busy, or playing bouncy-bouncy—sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. 

Aging presents a list of potential problems, including illness, high blood pressure, diabetes, hormonal problems, a decrease in stamina, depression, anxiety, medications, and reduced mobility. Any of these can considerably interfere with your sexual health and ability to enjoy sex.  If you are experiencing difficulties, you may feel isolated. 

Sadly there is not a lot of information about sexual health among older adults and how to deal with health issues, illness, and modification of sexual activities as we age.  There are no support groups to turn to, friends may find the topic uncomfortable or embarrassing and your children simply refuse to acknowledge that their parent has a sex life at all!

Aging is a natural part of life and because sexuality is a major part of who you are, embrace the fact that your body is changing and make some modifications to enjoy it.  Rather than trying to prove your youthfulness to your partner, enjoy each other in a more relaxed and pleasant way. 

Your sexual performance will slow down as you get older, but if you are physically active throughout your life (unless there are health issues), you will have more energy and your sex drive will be higher than if you have a sedentary lifestyle.

Your physical and mental well-being will play a critical part in your enjoyment of or difficulty in becoming sexually aroused. There is a growing market of available drugs to treat erectile dysfunction and devices to treat sexual problems among older adults.  Sexual retirement is not an inevitable consequence of aging and men and women can be sexually active well into their 'golden' years.

Specific to Older Women

Decreased estrogen level:  Menopause signals the end of fertility in a woman’s life.  Unfortunately, that is not all and low levels of estrogen can impact sexual function. 

Some women experience decreased muscle support of the female pelvis (especially if they have had children), vaginal dryness, and thinning of the vaginal wall lining, leading to soreness during and after intercourse. 

This hormonal fluctuation can also initiate changes in women’s bodies such as skin pigment and tone, breasts, muscles and skeleton and the narrowing and shortening of the vagina.  To make matters worse, women may experience a decrease in testosterone which could affect their sex drive.  For many women, all these changes can wreak havoc on self-image and self-esteem, both which are often linked to the loss of sexual desire.

Specific to Older Men

Decreased testosterone level:  Women are not the only ones having to deal with hormonal and body changes.  As men age, their testosterone level drops.  This meansmore stimulation is needed to achieve and maintain an erection and for some men, there is an increased risk of becoming impotent. 

When men have an erection, it can be less firm or smaller, and they often experience a less forceful and smaller ejaculation. It will also take longer to become aroused again.  Coupled with ageing, low testosterone may also decrease blood flow and skin elasticity.  This may result in shrinkage of their testicles and penis, which may negatively impact their self-esteem and their sexual desire.

Health Issues of Your Partner

Quite frankly, as we age we develop more health concerns and issues which require medication.  Certain medications can stop you from having a satisfying sex life by affecting your sexual response—including your libido, arousal and ability to reach orgasm.  If you are experiencing sexual side effects from your medications, talk to your doctor. 

It may be possible to switch to a different medication with fewer sexual side effects.  Dryness or discomfort during sexual intercourse can be relieved with hormone replacement therapy (replacing a loss of estrogen) or simply by using a vaginal lubricant, which is available over-the-counter at pharmacies.

Getting older is a fact of life, yet there is some truth in the statement “you are only as old as you feel.”  Try something new, rediscover your partner and reignite the passion of your youth.  Now that you may have more time, fewer distractions and no worry of unplanned pregnancy, enjoy yourself and each other. 

Do not assume that your partner does not find you desirable if they seem less interested in sex.  There may be a physical reason behind it.  Feelings of shame should never be a part of intimacy as sexual difficulties are normal.  The best thing to do is discuss them with your partner.  Often lack of communication is at the heart of the problem.

Simple Steps for Preserving Sexual Health:

• Live healthy:  Try to eat healthy (lots of fruits and vegetables), drink plenty of fluids (limit alcohol and coffee), and do not smoke.  Regular exercise and strength training can increase your stamina, improve your body image, elevate your mood and enhance your libido.  Reduce the stress in your life and see your doctor regularly.

• Women can strengthen their pelvic muscles by doing pelvic floor exercises, known as Kegel exercises, which can improve awareness of the muscles involved in sexual sensations and increase your libido.

• Keep in mind that masturbation is always an option for people that have mobility or physical restrictions.

• Research hints that certain foods (such as oysters, figs, bananas, and papayas), herbs (such as garlic, ginger, and licorice) and other supplements can stimulate production of hormones or other chemicals that affect your libido.  While aphrodisiacs have no strong scientific evidence behind them, many people swear by their effects.  There is no harm in experimenting with them.  If you find a certain food or scent puts you in the mood for love - go for it. 

• Talk to your doctor if your partner has trouble achieving or sustaining an erection.  Medication such as Viagra can help with this problem, but only trust your family physician.  Avoid internet scams as there are no miracle drugs and some can seriously harm you.

• It is never too late to add a little spice to your sex life. Try different sexual positions, sex toys, or a different time of day or location to have sex.

• Communicate with your partner.  Sometimes just talking about sex can make you feel sexy.

Successful ageing depends on your attitude and ability to compensate and improvise.  Let go of expectations and be creative, open-minded, and take the time to nurture yourself and your relationship. Men and women can be sexually active well into their later life.  However, sexually transmitted diseases and infections do not care how old you are, so enjoy yourself but be vigilant about practicing safe sex.