Holiday Presence

The holiday season can become overwhelming and we may experience more stress than usual. The increased time we spend socializing with friends and family often contributes to this stress.

No matter how beautifully a family gets along or how much love is expressed, this season may give rise to a long history of past family behavior and interaction. We may find ourselves interacting with our siblings like we did as teenagers- teasing and taunting. We may find ourselves behaving as we did in the past with our parents, aunts, and uncles. We may face challenges as relatives bestow gifts and foods upon our children that we don’t approve of. With so much interaction and pressure it becomes easy to slip into an unconscious pattern of reactivity.

We know how tense we can become when we spend time being close to family we don’t see very often. Remember, however, we are not the only ones experiencing this; everyone is. Look at the check-out people in stores, the servers in restaurants, our co-workers, bosses, employees, clients and customers. The holidays are stressful for everyone and we are interacting with each other from within this place of tension.

The holiday season is a perfect time to practice compassion and conscious awareness in the present moment. Everyone has similar triggers that cause stressful behavior. You cannot control the attitudes and behaviors of those around you, but you can control your own reactions. If someone continues to press your buttons, remember they are your buttons, and it is your responsibility to choose how to respond.

Take a moment to consider the person causing you to lose patience and trigger your anger. Perhaps they are mirroring the same stress that you are coping with inside. Once you realize this, you may find yourself being a little more patient and understanding.

Pause to take a few deep breaths, or perhaps take a short walk around the block. Use the moment to reflect, compose, relax, and be present. Then you will be better able to cope with everything coming at you. Give yourself the space you need to act, rather than react. Responding with patience, understanding, and calmness will empower those around you to do the same.

Being present in the moment and coming from love and understanding spreads a calming energy to those around us which continues to spread and grow. If we bring this calmness with us to holiday parties, family gatherings, and the shopping mall, we will create less stress and we may experience the Peace and Joy wished for during the holiday season. The holidays are not about gift giving, indulging and escaping. They are about enjoying, appreciating, and sharing. Go into the holiday season intending to be calm and compassionate… you will create a more peaceful and meaningful experience that will be shared with friends and family.