Set Yourself Free!
- Thursday, 06 March 2008
Setting yourself from from guilt, shame, and anger is easier than you think.
Step 1—Taking Responsibility for Yourself
The first and most challenging part of setting yourself free is actually taking responsibility for yourself and where you are. Blaming others, genetics (your mom’s fat thighs), your partner, or anybody else isn’t going to help you set yourself free. It’s your life and your choices that create your life! So take a deep breath and say gently to yourself, “I take responsibility for who and where I am now. My choices have got me here and that’s OK. I can always make different choices next time.”
What better time than now to wipe the slate clean and forgive yourself and others for past hurts! It’s not going to do your mental, emotional, spiritual, or physical health any good to hold onto it, so set it free.
Forgiveness 101—The Art of Allowing
Being able to forgive is all about allowing—allowing yourself to be you, to make mistakes, to have fun, to move on. It is also about allowing others to be who they are without constantly trying to control them or holding grudges for “silly” things they do. So next time you do something silly, think to yourself, “Oops, I guess I made a mistake, and that’s OK. Making mistakes does not change my worth. I am OK!” And next time you are faced with someone who annoys you, think to yourself, “They are who they are, and that’s OK. It is not my job to change this person. I’m different and that’s OK.”
Step 3—Gratitude and Appreciation
Having lived around the world, I find it funny what we take for granted and what we complain about. We are so lucky, despite what we see as huge faults in our lives, our government, our partner, our children, etc. Part of setting yourself free is to allow gratitude and appreciation to replace some (or all) of that perception of lack and negativity.
I propose that you begin and end each day by giving thanks for being alive and for all the goodness that will/did come into your day. Even if it feels like you are lying at first, eventually you will begin to feel the love. Positive thoughts are like magnets: the more you have, the more good stuff comes to you.
Step 4—Feeling Good
When you look in the mirror every day, give yourself a compliment instead of a criticism. Instead of remarking on how dry and lifeless your hair is, give thanks for your bright eyes and full lips (or whatever it is that pleases you!). And give a compliment to someone else too. You know how good it feels to get a compliment—it feels good to give them, too!
Feeling good is a choice! Hope you choose to make it!
Step 5—Imagination and Creation
Set yourself free to imagine what you would like to be, do, or have, and give yourself the flexibility and grace to take that journey in a healthy and fun way! Write down what you would like to be, do, or have, then let life bring you the ideas to help you achieve it! If necessary, do take action in joy to help yourself achieve your desires. After all, you can’t lose 10 pounds if you don’t get off the couch sometimes!
The Bottom Line
For years I lived caged in layer upon layer of expectations, rules, and goals that I made for myself because I couldn’t bear to be wrong, weak, or disappoint others. I now see that all along, my inner self just wanted to help set me free so I could really love life. And I do now. And you can, too!
I hope you set yourself free to love life, love yourself, and enjoy every day!