The other day someone told me I was “all peace, love and everyone’s free to do their own thing unless it differs from your own beliefs.” She was specifically speaking of how I act towards other mothers.

It hurt, mostly because I thought it could be true. I spent a few days rolling it around in my mind. I observed it while I reacted to certain situations. I considered it during meditation in yoga class.

Aren’t we all set in our own ways to a certain degree? I hope so. I hope we are not all so passive as to never make our own firm parenting decisions. I would rather have a strong opinion than no opinion at all.

But the thing that really matters is the respect we show the other parents in our lives.

We have to realize there are many ways to parent. This is so hard for all of us (don’t lie to yourself, it’s difficult!) We feel our way is the right way or else we’d find another way. But it’s the right way for US, not the rest of the world.

Sometimes I might sounds preachy on this blog but I think that’s okay. It’s a blog for everyone to read–even people curious about the unfamiliar. (Though I don’t mind preaching to the “Attachment Parenting” choir.) You’re interested in co-sleeping, great, read on. You think cloth diapers are important? Me too! Desperately fighting to get breastfeeding on track? I hear ya!

Every single choice I’ve made since becoming pregnant has been deliberate, well thought out, and agreed upon by my amazing partner.

I have no desire to make choices for anyone else. Way too busy making my own.

I found an amazing group of mamas here in Montreal. We all went to prenatal yoga together and now that our babies are born we get together every couple of weeks to socialize our wee ones and chit chat about parenting and unrelated issues.

We are all very different and that’s what makes getting together fun.

Some of us use cloth diapers.
Many of us breastfeed.
Two of us (myself NOT included) had natural, drug-free births.
A couple had amnio.
Some pregnancies were planned, some weren’t.
Some parents are Ferberizing.
Some babies only fall asleep at the breast or in a sling.
Some are excited to puree foods while others are interested in baby-led weaning.

Our babies are all between three and five months. The amazing space we have created is one where interest, not judgment exists. We learn from each other. We ask questions not to criticize, but to become better parents by educating ourselves.

The more we get together, the more I grow to love each and every one of these mamas. For our similarities and for our differences.

I have my own opinions, yes. Strong, fierce opinions. And I wish every other mama the ability to do this for herself and her family.

So there. I guess I am  peace, love and everyone’s free to do their own thing (as long as no one gets hurt.)
 

Jenn Hardy