"Let" Daddy Do It!

In 2011, we are lucky. Much luckier than our mothers were. While we might have more pressure (from society or ourselves) to finish school and get a career, we also have more help. And most fathers get paternity leave!

I won’t make a blanket statement, but in general, most Papas are around in the first few weeks (at least) to take part in childcare. Some women (myself included) are even luckier and parenting is divided 50/50. Or almost.

Of the friends I have who are popping out kids, the fathers have been very keen to participate in child rearing. They know how to hold a newborn, they know how to shush a baby to sleep and they even know how to make pureed baby food.

My baby is six weeks old, and I have already been back to work for a couple weeks. (Gasp!) Does that mean baby stays alone in her playpen or swing while I work? Nope. Have I hired a nanny? Nope.

My baby has two parents who are doing their best to share the baby-care workload. We are parents who both have careers we love, and we work for ourselves. This allows us to work around each others’ schedules.

When Mike has to leave the house to teach or play a gig (he is a professional musician and educator) I’m on full-time baby care duty.

And when he’s at home, he takes over and I get the chance to make a couple calls and write a few paragraphs (even a blog post or two!)

While our case is extra-special because we work our own hours, I think it’s important in every household for fathers to take part in child rearing. And for that to happen, mamas have to learn to “Let” Daddy do it.

I struggled with this in the beginning. It was hard to let go, and sometimes I still want to micro-manage, but there’s no reason why Daddy can’t do everything I do. (Except the feeding–for now.)

I think it’s natural for new moms to want to do everything (and do it our own way) but my God, woman, if you have an extra pair of willing hands around, please, please pass the baby and do something for yourself. Whether that’s writing a blog post, making a couple bucks, or going to get a pedicure, “Let” Daddy do it!

We are still struggling with weaning the baby off the nipple shield so we have been advised to hold off on giving her a bottle for the time being. That means feeding is still my job. But Daddy is a great diaper changer (and he even washes the dirty cloth diapers most evenings!) He has been the one to rock her to sleep on the nights when she won’t stop crying, and bath time seems more fun when he does it.

And I’m telling you, there’s nothing sexier than a Papa in a Maman Kangourou stretchy wrap!

Once we get to the point where the baby can take a bottle again, we will have reached our goal. That goal is that we both know how to do everything related to our baby’s care. Mike can go on tour for two weeks or I can bugger off to Toronto for a while, and the baby would be 100% cared for by one of the two people she loves most in the world.