I Found My Doula

I’ve known from Day One that I wanted a Doula. My first choice was a midwife in a birthing center for a water birth. That’s just what I have always wanted. I never imagined it would be so impossible. I will have my baby at the hospital, and though it’s not my first choice, it’s not the worst place to have a baby! Especially not if there is a Doula by my side.

Since finding out I was pregnant, birthing in a hospital is one of the things that has frightened me most. I still have anxiety over it.

I have an image in my mind of birthing at a hospital that is difficult to shake. Fluorescent lights, hospital bed, hooked up to machines and IV. I’ve never had a baby before, and have no experience with this at all. I blame the media’s portrayal of what birthing is.

We expect birth to be a horrible experience. We expect to scream, yell, swear and cry. We expect to be helpless. Lying on our backs as the doctors do whatever they do.

There’s this scene from Monty Python that’s almost a little bit funny.

And then there is the terrible birth scene in the movie 9 Months. I can’t bring myself to watch it again now, but I remember Joan Cusack’s character shouting every profanity imaginable at her partner. “You did this to me!”

I don’t want to scream and yell and cry and be helpless. I do not want to Lamaze breathe my way into hyperventilation. I do not want drugs. I want calm. I want control and courage.

This is what I’m hoping my Doula can help me with.

What is a Doula?

Simply put, a birth assistant. She is not medical or midwife support. She is there to lend physical and emotional support before, during and after birth. Some Doulas are certified, others are not. A Doula might come to help out at your home birth, but is especially useful when you are delivering at a hospital. She will help you…

• Breathe properly

• She rubs your back if you need it

• She helps you to stay focused

• She encourages you

• She knows the ins and outs of a hospital, which few first time parents do

• She takes pressure off the baby Dada, allowing him to experience the birth of his child too

• She advocates for you

I only spoke to my new Doula, Sarah, on the phone, and we will meet in person after my first ultrasound (which is in 10 days!) It’s recommended that you interview Doulas in order to choose the one that is best for you. But Sarah comes highly recommended from a good friend that I trust with important matters like the birth of my child!