Mom Talk
Lies, Exaggerations and Fabrications
Children lie for the same reasons adults do. They do it to get themselves out of a sticky situation, or if they are afraid of punishment or rejection. They do it if they feel threatened or trapped. They do it to impress or manipulate or they just think that lying will making things easier for everyone. Often, lying is a sign of low self-esteem and kids do it to make themselves look better. ...
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Good Answers to Tough Questions
There is so much in the media that that makes kids believe that the world is a scary place. Whether its reports on tornadoes or a shooting spree at a school, children can be easily shaken by these frightening events. And parents can feel overwhelmed when kids ask tough questions that speak to those fears such as Are we safe at school? or Do we live in a tornado zone? Dr. Paul Coleman, in h...
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Breastfeeding is for Lazy Women
Breastfeeding is for lazy women. Too lazy to do dishes? Breastfeeding means you don’t have to wash bottles. Food preparation a drag? There’s no need to boil water and mix in the powder when you breastfeed. Don’t want to find somewhere to warm a bottle when you’re out? You don’t have to when you breastfeed. Just pull the milk warmer out of your bra. Can’t be bothered to...
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R-e-s-p-e-c-t for Baby and Me!
The other day someone told me I was “all peace, love and everyone’s free to do their own thing unless it differs from your own beliefs.” She was specifically speaking of how I act towards other mothers. It hurt, mostly because I thought it could be true. I spent a few days rolling it around in my mind. I observed it while I reacted to certain situations. I considered it during meditation i...
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There Were Three in Bed...
There were three in the bed and the little one said, “I’m happy…” My baby is three months old and not only do we still co-sleep, we also bed share. Just yesterday we even went so far as to upgrade our double bed to a Queen. I wanted a bigger bed anyways and now the little Princess has even more room to stretch out her arms (and so do her parents.) I haven’t been too upfront about our ...
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And You Thought That Was Bad
I have thrush. Most breastfeeding mamas get it at some point or another, and now it’s my turn. Baby was fussing at the breast most feedings for a couple days, and I blamed the bottle. This three-month-old went from breast to bottle to nipple shield back to breast, so a little confusion when we tried to give her bottle once in a while wasn’t so surprising. But then I started putting th...
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My Baby Must-Have List
I don’t consider myself a materialistic person. My concern for the environment is enough for me to usually choose to buy second-hand goods whenever possible. My friends call me “Hand-me-down Hardy.” We haven’t bought a whole lot since baby came along and when we do, we certainly don’t head to Babies R Us to buy it new. Kijiji has been great to us. So have family and friends. While I m...
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Shield Be Gone!
Alas, our breastfeeding troubles are almost over! It has been 24 hours+ since I last used my trusty nipple shield. A couple of weeks ago, we had visited Deborah van Wyck, the Lactation Consultant who has been helping us since the baby’s first week of life. “She just won’t recognize my bare nipple!” I sobbed. I thought I would never be able to wean baby from the nipple shield. I w...
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Nipple Confusion
Its 9:48 p.m. Do you know where your baby is?Attached to my boob. The baby is attached to my boob from 8pm to around 11pm every single night. What happens when I take her off? All Hell breaks loose. They call it “fussy evenings.” They say she’s cluster feeding. It’s her new thing. You know what? I don’t even mind because the trade-off is awesome. Most of the time, after 4 hours o...
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"Let" Daddy Do It!
In 2011, we are lucky. Much luckier than our mothers were. While we might have more pressure (from society or ourselves) to finish school and get a career, we also have more help. And most fathers get paternity leave! I won’t make a blanket statement, but in general, most Papas are around in the first few weeks (at least) to take part in childcare. Some women (myself included) are even luc...
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Wearing My Baby
When I spent a few months travelling in South America, I saw so many lovely things. Exotic animals, the rainforest, coffee trees and mountains. One of the coolest things I saw, however, was the women of Ecuador and Peru carrying their babies everywhere they went. And they worked while they did it – baby strapped tightly to them with a colorful fabric. I wish I had bought one of those baby ...
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Let's Talk About Sleep, Baby
How do we “parent” our babies to sleep? My baby is a good baby. A baby that sleeps and rarely cries. She smiles big non-gas-induced smiles. My baby is a happy baby and her parents can take a little credit for that. The baby sleeping well has become one of my top priorities. I’ll admit, in the beginning the motivation to help her sleep was a little selfish, but I am starting to re...
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Conquering the "Fear Gremlin"
Its quite common for children to have fears. Some dont like climbing up the jungle gym at the park. Some dont like the water and refuse to go swimming. Others cant settle down at night because theyre afraid of the dark or monsters. Parents are not always well equipped to help children conquer their fears. While its not our job to protect them from every discomfort in life, we can help them nav...
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How could I complain?
It looks like this breastfeeding thing is going to work out. So with all the difficulties I had feeding my baby in the first few weeks, it would be pretty silly of me to complain. But here it is: The child won’t stop eating! My baby is almost a month old. Most nights we spend sleepless because all she wants to do is eat. Our nurse suggested popping a bottle in her mouth. She suggested...
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A Few Days After Labor
I’m a mother and I have little time! Point form update for inquiring minds: - I love being a mother - Michel and I have a system that works and allows us to sleep - I have never been happier in all my life - At 41 weeks, 5 days, my membranes were ruptured at the hospital - At 4:21, Feb. 22, my daughter was born healthy and gorgeous - The birth was long and became more medicaliz...
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Natural Induction. How's That for an Oxymoron?
A week past our due date, and Ive decided to up the ante on helping this labor progress. I just came back from my first-ever appointment with an acupuncturist... I left yesterdays doctors appointment with good and less good news. Good news: The Non-Stress Test showed that all is well at 41 weeks. When the baby moves, her heart rate accelerates. They hooked me up to monitors for half an hou...
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Serenity NOW!
Dear Child, You have overstayed your welcome in my womb. I realize that you might have my sense of direction and you’re a little confused right now, but the only way out is down. You need not worry about a life raft or emergency track lighting. You will not end up in the ocean, I promise. I got your back, munchkin. Our baby’s middle name will be Sereine. We picked it be...
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Maybe My OB/GYN Isn't Evil
Today was the best appointment with the OBGYN I have had so far. I received all kinds of good news today. She said my baby got an Olympic 8/8 on her ultrasound. Is it weird that I felt a little proud? Also: Babys head is fully engaged (my doctor seemed shocked at how low down her head was). I am dilated 1.5 cms My cervix is 80% effaced My prediction: Baby will be born befor...
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Baby Bump, I'll Miss You
The other day a friend, whose wife is seven months pregnant with their second kid, asked if I was “at that point yet?” The point, he said, I would get to when all I could wish for was to have the baby out of me. Last night, a yoga teacher asked me the same thing. People have been asking this for months. But I’m not there (yet?) With just over a month to go, I don’t know if I’ll ever g...
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Nesting
When I first became pregnant, I updated this blog most days. With just over a month to go, I certainly have even more legit things to write about than I did in week six, yet I just can’t find the time. I am counting down the days until this girl graces us with her presence, and I’m realizing how much we have left to do! My nesting instinct has kicked in, and it’s actually kind of fun. ...
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Well, Hello There Baby.
I had another ultrasound yesterday. Why? No reason. Just standard hospital procedure at 32 weeks. But I’m glad I went. They automatically scheduled me, and this wasn’t a battle I cared nearly enough to fight about. What’s more is that I wanted confirmation that I had, in fact, felt her migrate south. Very obedient; baby’s head is down. That means no more Downward Dog for me! (Downward Dog ...
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Poo-Pooing Cloth Diapers
Why do you hate cloth diapers so? Why does the fact that we are choosing to use them bother you? It’s only parents that have decided to use disposable diapers that give us a hard time about our decision. In disbelief, “You won’t have time to worry about washing diapers,” they say. I smile and nod in apparent agreement while thinking of all the parents I know who have used and who...
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One More Gripe About my Midwife
I’m not complaining about my midwife. I don’t even have a midwife. I’m griping (probably) for the last time because I do not have a midwife. Anyone who knows me or reads this blog knows the one thing I want most in this world is a midwife. I have been on the waiting list in Montreal since I was 5 weeks pregnant. I still couldn’t get a midwife. The best I can do is hire an underground midwi...
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What's Anterior Placenta and Where's my Baby?
I’ve been pretty good with self-diagnosis. Mike regularly tells me to stop, as he can see all the searches on the Internet stress me out more than anything! We live in an age where Google makes it easy for us to play doctor. But I am someone who is very in tune with her body. I knew I was pregnant before I missed my period (my gums felt sensitive and my sense of smell was like a vampire’s,...
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Joke of the Day
Why we love children.... Nudity: I was driving with my three kids on a warm summers evening when the woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my five-year old shout from the back seat, Mom, that lady isnt wearing a seat belt! More nudity: A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the womens l...
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The Ultrasound Debate
Are ultrasounds dangerous? Are they necessary? Did you have one? We spent 20 weeks, with only wild imaginings of what our little sprog looks like. We had heard her heart, but still, I was unsure that there was really a baby in there. I finally had an ultrasound and we got to see our beautiful baby girl. The ultrasound made her look like a little skeleton, but I just know she is going to be gorgeo...
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Camping, Pregnancy and Pesticides
I recently took an amazingly romantic camping trip to Canada’s East Coast with the man who, on that trip, became my fiance. We drove from Montreal to Maine and popped onto the Digby Ferry where he asked me to marry him. On to Nova Scotia, we camped for two weeks. The nausea and fatigue that plagued me in the first trimester had dissipated. Because I’m pregnant, we brought along super comfy...
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I Found My Doula
I’ve known from Day One that I wanted a Doula. My first choice was a midwife in a birthing center for a water birth. That’s just what I have always wanted. I never imagined it would be so impossible. I will have my baby at the hospital, and though it’s not my first choice, it’s not the worst place to have a baby! Especially not if there is a Doula by my side. Since finding out I was pregna...
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Getting Kids to Read
Many parents ask me how to get their kids to read more. In todays world of computer games and television, it can feel like a daunting task. Here are some tips to help encourage kids to read. Model, model, model. Be seen reading books so your kids follow in your footsteps. Sign up for a library card and take your child to the library once a week. Keep a ...
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Picky Eaters
Are you struggling with any of the following? All my child wants to eat is pasta, peanut butter and cereal. My child is not open to trying new foods. My child hates vegetables. It takes lots of coaxing to get my child to eat his supper. My child has poor eating habits and wont eat dinner with the family. We try and have family meals together but there never seems t...
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Moods Are Catchy
Do you ever notice that your kids act up when you're having a bad day? If you are down in the dumps it's not unusual for kids to be affected by it. Families interact with each other in such a way that our disposition impacts everyone in the household. It's not unusual for our mood to change that of the people around us. If you are feeling irritable, gloomy or sulky, your kids may b...
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Vacationing with the Extended Family
Summer holidays can be fun and relaxing however when grown-up siblings get together they can be anything but relaxing. Tensions can easily arise if parenting styles are different and families are sharing close quarters. If you're planning to spend some vacation time this summer with your siblings and their families, here are some tips to help you navigate those tricky waters. First, begin wi...
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Beware of Giving Kids Too Much Choice
Most parenting experts agree that giving children choices helps them to develop independence. The more choices you give, the more their sense of self grows. But, is there such a thing as giving too many choices? Yes. One hot day in June, I was helping out at my kids' local elementary school's Fun Day where one of the moms was handing out snow cones. There was a choice of five colors: re...
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TV and Toddlers Don't Mix
A new study from Australia has come out recommending that children under 2 years of age not be permitted to watch TV or use other electronic media including DVDs and computers. The guidelines warn that normal development of this age group can be stunted, specifically in the areas of language development and social interactions. The study recommended children 2 to 5 years of age should be limited ...
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Etiquette For Dating When You Have Kids
It's not easy for parents to introduce a new friend to their child when they start dating. Kids can feel threatened when a love interest comes into the life of a parent, especially if it's the custodial parent because a close relationship often develops between them, and the child can feel threatened. He may feel that the mother's affections are no longer secure, particularly if the...
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Simple Fixes for Bad Behaviors
Q: I don't think I'm much different from many moms out there. I struggle with staying calm when my kids push my buttons. I yell, threaten, over explain and often dole out punishments. Can you help me be more patient? A: Staying calm and being more patient is one of the biggest challenges my clients face. You're not alone. Here are some tips for helping you change your approach: Y...
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Kids Should Sleep on Their Own
Q: I've recently separated from my wife. I'm living in a one-bedroom apartment and my two-year-old daughter sleeps with me because she is afraid to be alone in the bed when I sleep on the couch. What's your view on my comforting her this way? A: It's very common that parents and children suffering from the dislocation of divorce find comfort in each other by sleeping together ...
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Mothers Masquerade: Masking Your Feelings Can Lead to Stress
Have you ever found yourself telling other moms what a great day you had when, in fact, you didn't? Have you ever talked about your partner in a loving way to your friends, yet inside you were actually enraged or resentful? Have you posted a sunshine-filled Facebook status when you actually felt there was only rain ahead? Haven't we all been there? In the face of challenging times, m...
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Meaningful Minutes: Why Every Second Counts
I'm not sure if it's my ill-equipped parenting skills, but this idea of perfect balance has never been an outcome of any of my parenting plans. I am in a constant state of being pulled in a million directions looking for the "easy button" that sends me into a state of blissful balance. Mmmm nope, I don't think so. I am constantly asking myself critical questions:
Read more...One-Minute Comfort Measures
Birth partners, especially dads, do well when support or comfort measures are listed in bite size chunks. Here is a simple list for your birth bag that can be your partner's "cheat sheet" to assisting you through the process. Psychological support • Encourage/lead imagery• Role modeling breathing • Eye contact and soothing words• Reassurance, encouragement, praise, empowering statem...
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