Love & Shadow

There is a reason that February is the shortest month of the year (in the northern parts of the world we like to think that this is because it makes the harsh weather pass by quickly). Not only does Valentine’s Day (a day of celebrating “love”) fall in this month, but so does Groundhog Day (a day of facing “shadow.”) I have always found this to be one of those cosmic ironies that are lost on many. This is a month that energetically connects the themes of love and shadow…how interesting.

Some people refute the idea of Valentine’s Day. Perhaps this is because they do not have the romantic relationship they desire and the concept of the day makes them feel less in some way. I would suggest that this is a limiting perspective and that at the very least, and yet perhaps the most relevant, there is the “love of self” that can be celebrated.

Hopefully it is obvious that I do not mean this in any narcissistic sense but rather base this on the belief that all good and healthy things in life are born out of self-love. Only when we are in true harmony with ourselves can we ever hope to create or achieve our deepest desires, for example, loving relationships.

Everybody wants to be loved and everybody fears that they will not be loved. This is part of the human experience.  Yet the greatest love of all is the one we nurture within ourselves. There is, however, always that “shadow” playing tricks on us. That shadow that is always there presenting illusion and testing us, no matter where we are or what spiritual heights we arrive at.

We work hard to manifest the “ideal” opportunity - be it a relationship, a career or whatever. Then, when it finally presents itself, instead of embracing it to help soothe and dissipate our fears, we shut down or walk away because of that fear. We embrace the fear and thus give it momentum. We think we are protecting ourselves perhaps from disappointment, pain or failure, but in reality we are clinging to the very thing that we are working to let go of. The illusion of the shadow self is playing a trick once again.

Working through our fears never “feels” good or even comfortable, and sometimes it’s downright lousy. It is during these uncertain or uncomfortable times when we need to embrace our deepest trust and faith in spirit (even our own spirit) and summon all of our spiritual resolve.  We need to push ourselves through the pains and contractions in the womb of fear in order to birth ourselves into a new state of emotional and conscious understanding; a new state of being.

This is really the only path to personal evolution – embracing the shadow and birthing ourselves through the fear with the momentum of self love. Once we arrive in a new landscape and are comfortable with navigating it, we often find ourselves thinking, “What was I so afraid of anyway?” Things are really not as scary as we perceive them to be once we have come out the other side.

From childhood we have this experience, like beginning school, or going to the dentist’s office. Things are rarely as bad as we fear them to be. The challenge as adults is that our fears become more emotionally based and often this is where our biggest fears lie. The process is no different as adults as it is when we finally conquer entering the dentist’s office, but certainly it “feels” different. Feel the fear and do it anyway – we have all heard that one before!

My favourite pop culture example of this can be illustrated by one of the famous “Raiders of the Lost Ark” movies. Our hero stands across a deep cavern with the treasure he seeks on the other side – the chalice of Jesus, the Holy Grail, symbolizing spiritual potential and reward. To get it, he has to work through the illusion that there is no easy path. Actually, the path is there but is hidden by the “illusion” of the rock, and so he must work through his fear of falling to actually see the path that is in front of him. He has no clue what he is doing but intuitively trusts. He realizes that he would not have arrived at a place of such potential if there were no way of attaining it.

So he trusts and steps forward into the unknown, and that is all it takes. With that one step forward he immediately realizes the he is on a place of firm ground – on a path that was hidden and cloaked with illusion- and in a single moment of faith he is lead to spiritual treasure. I love that scene and all it represents.

So as we go through this month and watch the groundhog deal or not deal with his shadow self, his fear of coming out into the cold, perhaps we can take time to consider our own fears and examine where we may be letting them hold us back. As we see Valentine’s day come and go, perhaps we can make a point to nurture ourselves and be our own Valentine, moving ourselves closer to our deepest desires.

Enjoy your February – get some dark chocolate and maybe a Raider’s movie!