Dreaming Death: It’s A Good Day To Die

In his book, “Dreaming Beyond Death,” author and dream scholar Kelly Bulkeley (co-authored with his mother, Rev. Patricia Bulkley) writes about Charles Rasmussen, a retired merchant-marine captain in his mid-80s who was dying of cancer. He was consumed by fear until, in a dream one night, he saw himself sailing in uncharted waters. Once again, he felt the thrill of adventure as he pushed through a vast, dark, empty sea, knowing he was on course. “Strangely enough, I’m not afraid to die anymore,” he told his hospice chaplain Patricia Bulkley after that dream. Death was no longer an end, but a journey. Our dreams can guide us at every step of our lives, from day-to-day issues, to the big issues of our major life transitions so this naturally continues up to the very end. Dreams like Charles’ above show that it’s not really an end.

Sometimes, however, the dreams of those nearing death are not always reassuring. If there is any unfinished business in the dreamer’s life, their dreams will surely reflect that, helping them clarify any strained relationships, review choices and roads taken — or not, and allowing them to choose closure when possible. Another book on the topic written by two hospice nurses is called “Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying” by Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley. I highly recommend either of these two books if there is anyone in your life (including yourself) who is dealing with actively dying. They teach us what to watch for and how to listen to the final dreams of our loved ones. At the same time, the lessons learned and guidance gained in these books can teach us a lot for our own lives.

The guidance our dreams can give us goes beyond their guidance at the end of our lives. Other than the challenge of being diagnosed with a terminal illness, most of us don’t know when the end is near when, in fact, it can be tomorrow. We trust and hope it’s not, but we never know if an Acme safe is about to topple through a window onto our heads! What if we were to actively work with our dreams as if it is our last day, or week or month on the earth? We could work with our dreams and our lives with the attitude that the Native expression teaches, “It’s a good day to die.” We can get up each morning, look at the night’s dream for guidance, and be sure that everything we do that day leaves us feeling complete and at peace, never letting the sun set on an argument whenever possible. Each day’s end is like a mini death. We close our eyes and enter into sleep trusting in the process of deep renewal and that continued life will follow that night’s sleep. If you let them, your dreams can be your instruction manual for living and dying, making every day a good day to die.